More funny book

I know what you want...you want more funny book entries. Well, lucky you. I have some.

* Winter 2007: Multiple coffee incidents. 1. Coffee came out of my nose while I was teaching and had gotten tickled at something a student said, innocently. Unfortunately, that was at the same moment my principal leaned in to say, "Good Morning." 2. "Rachel" accidentally caused a ripple effect avalanche that caused my coffee to fall all over the kids' just-finished chapter test. Had to return them all in that Friday's parent folder with a note explaining the strong smell of Amaretto. The next day, her sweet mother sent me a gift bag, so nicely decorated, with a sippie cup inside. The card read, "I heard you might need a new coffee mug." Love that family. 3. Same week, no kidding, got bumped at the coffee station in the workroom and hot coffee went down my pants. I had to greet my students at the door that morning and explain there had been yet another coffee spill. You would think I would lay off the coffee, but there is no way that's happening.

* Winter, 2007: Not funny, just freaky. Teaching the lesson on the importance of lining up your decimals, I tell them about Frank Fazoli, blah blah blah, and at one point in this made-up story that for some reason they always hang on my every word to, it gets to the part where the secretary buzzes in for the big boss, Frank. At that very moment, my cell phone (accidentally forgot to turn it off that day) goes off in my pocket. Freaky.

* Fall, 2007: We'll call him "Kevin", one of my personal favorites - happens to be autistic, and in his little, nasal voice, asks (always too loudly), "Uh, Mrs. Clark? Um..um...I need to go to the bathroom. I've gotta take one."

*We'll call her "Kylie", our first year teaching, we're in the stalls after school, taking care of business. She calls out, "Is that you, Clarkie?" I said, "Yup." She answers, "Well, you might want to get out of here fast, because I'm gonna be doing some damage." We hear our principal's voice answer, "Thanks, Kylie. I appreciate the heads up!" (our bathrooms were so cleverly designed to where the boys walk through the entrance to the girls' restroom to their own. She and I couldn't breathe for a minute or two.

Well, that's all I have. Really. The book is just blank after that.